We Know What's Best
by tirelessadvisor
Summary: Duty and personal feelings can never co-exist with each other. It's a saying that goes for all leaders and their vassals...even those who have a love fabled stronger than most.


"I need to speak with you."

Those six words. When someone you love and care about say that, you know you've done wrong. I had the feeling in some sense, I had let Elincia down today. Not that I hadn't before though, because you can't be perfect. But calling me out onto the balcony at night and out of public, however, told me I'd done far more serious damage than I'd thought. Elincia generally wouldn't have minded speaking to me if I'd done wrong with even just a few people around.

But I'd messed up badly this time. The way her eyes were downcast, her fingers gripping the ledge with her body leaning heavily on it, expressing the tiredness of having to keep a regal appearance to everyone. I was not entirely aware of what I'd done yet.

But soon I would be…and what I was to learn, would lead me to make a change in our lives that would hurt the both of us lifelong.

"You're smothering me, Lucia." she spoke, her voice wavering as she swallowed.

"Smothering?"

"Yes, smothering," she turned to face me, amber eyes bright with frustration. "The entire castle can see what you're doing. The way you keep interjecting when they attempt to criticise me. Or how you insist on me not going to certain places when you've heard of dangerous things happening there lately."

"You know I only do all of that because it's my job."

"No you're not! It's not just your job to you! It's rather obvious what this is all about!" Elincia threw her hands up in frustration, "This has far more to do with being my bodyguard and advisor!"

"Of course it does, naturally! Unless you hadn't noticed we have kind of been around each other since we were children so it's quite obvious I care about you far more than most!" I came back with.

"There's the other problem, Lucia! I'm not a child or a princess anymore! I am the Queen of Crimea! And, unfortunately, caring about me far more than most can lead to dire consequences, unless you've forgotten what that did last time!" Elincia snapped, her teeth grinded against each other in her frustration and it only made me more frustrated she wasn't taking in the simple facts.

But what she'd just said then hurt. Badly.

"Of course I haven't! How could I forget! My entire body and part of my sight was broken because of it!" I yelled back.

"Exactly! Yet you still continue to publically make your feelings of me clear and it's hurting me, Lucia!" Elincia was near on the brink of screaming now, "And what frustrates me even more is that you don't even understand how or why!"

"Then how about you tell me for once!" a look of disappointment crossed Elincia's face after I said this.

"…I would've thought you were smart enough to realise in time. You're the most intelligent person I know and to find out now you don't even have the slightest clue…" her voice turned bitter as tears of frustration began to fall…to my own selfish thoughts, she always looked beautiful when she was like this, and it didn't help that the moonlight was accentuating the glistening of those tears. But knowing that I was the one who inflicted them on her this time made me feel that much more hatred towards myself.

What she said next however, made me feel absolutely pathetic.

"The way you constantly stop the nobles from their criticism of me and the general way you treat me…it makes me look weak to them, Lucia. It makes me look as if I still can't handle or look after myself! People actually have said to me, when you're not around, that they don't think I can rule properly—not because I'm incapable politically, but because _you_ keep sheltering me!"

My heart was struck with a million arrows. A million arrows that I'd taken for Elincia which meant absolutely nothing and she was exactly right about it. Not only was she right about what my job was doing…my own feelings were hurting her as both a queen and as a person. I had made her look small, insecure. I have made her look like everything that I wished for the people not to view her as. My protection had damaged her. Hell, I hadn't even protected her at all.

I had made her vulnerable…just as she had said…

"I…I'm sorry," my voice broke as I pounded the balcony ledge with my fist, my eyes now downcast and head bent down in shame.

"I'm so sorry...what I've done…is just as foolish as when I disregarded your feelings about myself and everyone else 4 years ago…" I said, turning away from her in disgrace of myself.

I could feel Elincia shut her eyes in pain. But I still couldn't bear to look at her. I didn't deserve to. I had failed her miserably and disrespected her as a person…

"I swore to myself I wouldn't do that again. That I'd consider you in everything I ever did. But it turns out 4 years later I've done exactly just that!

"Lucia…"

"I have!" I pounded my fist on the balcony. "My desire to protect you from ever being hurt again has hurt you!"

"Not on purpose though," Elincia said, her bitter tone remaining. "I know you don't mean to harm me, which is why I can always forgive you. But why can't you forgive yourself for your misgivings to me? W hy must you be so hard on yourself?"

My self-shamed feelings dissipated when I heard the questions and anger started to boil up inside of me. Why yes, say as if it's easy for me to not hate myself when every time I have slipped up the consequence has near ruined my life! I turned my head over to her with a look of ice-cold anger at her not understanding.

"I made a sworn fealty promise 9 years ago that I would guard you with my life, but not just in front of you. I made it in front of your father, your mother, Duke Renning, Geoffrey…I swore it in front of the Crimean people!" my voice turned irate as I turned full body to her.

"I made the promise in front of the entire of Crimea that I would not fail you! Right now, the entire of Crimea is watching and begging me not to let you down. I slipped up just once last year and no one let me off on it! They made the sneers at me as I kept collapsing from injury in my recovery, kept making it known how I'd naively fallen into Ludveck's trap and how letting him use me against you nearly cost your throne!"

"And the whole world isn't watching me right now either, Lucia?!" now it was Elincia's turn as her voice matched up to mine. "I think you forgot for a moment just who I am?! I'm the Queen of Crimea! Not only the entire of Crimea, _but all of Tellius _is watching and begging me not to screw up! Did anyone try to support or help me when you were captured?!

The vast majority of them left me, heavens, one of them opened the door to Ludveck to Alpea having lost his faith in me! But I didn't have the time to hold myself on it and nor could I let my failure to protect you get to me either. I couldn't afford to guilt trip myself or I'd still be a weak queen!"

"Then you're suggesting I'm a weak knight for letting the fact I got near tortured to death, used against the one person I love more than anyone in the world and losing all the strength I had to protect that person by one man alone get to me?! That just _makes you no better_ than the people _who stood by and mocked me_ as I struggled to get my life back together again!"

The tension in the night-time breeze hung heavy in the air as I turned myself away from her, letting out a short angry cry as I pounded the balcony ledge once more. I don't even know when, or if, we had such a horrid argument at each other and fired such awful shots. I swore my own heart had literally begun to bleed as I took in what she'd just implied to me there. My breaths were sharp and I felt myself lean heavily on the ledge, letting out a few coughs.

My own tears came out as I grinded my teeth together. How could she do that to me…she knew more than anyone else how much I suffered in the aftermath. She was the only one who still had faith in me when everyone else lost it! Did that mean it was faked? That her faith had been misplaced and was in fact a lie?! That I had worked to get back here for nothing?!

I only gave the slightest glance back at her, as my overriding feelings of anger blinded me to picking up how she felt. It was a good thing I did. Because all the bitterness and anger she had was gone…and now a remorseful look had fallen on her face.

"No…no I didn't mean for that…I didn't mean for that at all…" she choked a sob after her statement.

"…I know you didn't…" I said quietly, closing my eyes as my anger turned into sadness.

What on earth has happened here with us…we've never done this much damage to each other before…never. We've never even argued like this before. For the first time, I found myself wishing it was before the Mad King's War again. Where we didn't have to worry about any expression of our feelings to each other, or that they would impact on the entire country. I had naively thought there was a way I could still be as close to her as I was back then…and I'm sure she had too.

But yet hadn't nearly losing me back then only made us stronger? I could feel she felt that much closer to me in that time, being the only one who still believed in me. I felt that much more love and pride for her when she refused to give into Ludveck and forsaken her feelings for me to protect the rest of the country from such poison. I had thought us closer than ever…

This is wrong. This is all so wrong…

"…Tell me, Lucia." Elincia broke the silence, raising herself to stand up straight to look at me once more. My breath was short as I brought myself to look at her. I was going to have to prepare myself for this.

"Tell me…are you going to keep sheltering me? Can you trust yourself to let go of me more so I can rule as this country's queen? So I can rightfully protect these people? You know I'm just as ready to die for them as you are for me. You know that it's them that make the country. I just bring them all together. Even my own death would still bring them together…"

I hated hearing of such talk. It was one of the things I couldn't bear to hear. It was taking my whole heart to force myself to listen. But I had to comprehend it. I had to listen. I had to…

"Will you let me go more so I can fulfil the role my parents and uncle wish for me to?"

There was a pause as I let the question hang over my head. I had just thought to myself that it'd been naïve of me to think we could be what we were before. But yet I also still thought of us closer because of the rebellion. Yet my failing of myself and her last time had done so much damage to me…I'm a changed woman. I'm no longer without little fear and great confidence. I live on fear now. I fear everyone around me. It took only one man to ruin my life due to betrayal. My trust in people has been shaken to the core.

And in all honesty…

"…I don't know." I responded miserably as my head lowered. I didn't know if I could. I had learned much from this night, but yet the past had a grip on me that I could not free myself from. It was why I had lost the will to sleep, for it would come to me in nightmares.

But then Elincia said words that made a new nightmare and this one was real.

"Then perhaps I'm the one who has to let go…I'm sorry, Lucia. I can't have you as my advisor or bodyguard anymore…"

There and then, I died. I felt that hangman's noose around my neck and this time, there was no Ike to save me. I choked and I fell lifelessly…and literally as I slumped right down on my knees on the spot as I heard her walk away. I could hear Ludveck laughing inside my head as at long last, my own tears shed from the one eye that still could do so.

Thinking what I would now do with my life in that night, I made the one ultimatum I could make, which would make my failure to Elincia final… 

* * *

The reality of the truth is, I myself am of noble heritage. I am the daughter of Duke Delbray and being the eldest sibling, I am the next heir to Delbray. In my heart, I knew it was only a matter of time before I was to become its duchess. I would have to go and represent my family, our part of Crimea and I wouldn't be there for Elincia every day anymore. Though I knew it would happen someday, I turned away from my father and denied him. My desire to protect Elincia had caused a huge rift between me and my father.

It made me extremely jealous of Geoffrey. Geoffrey didn't have to deal with the problem, being the General of the Royal Knights, Crimea's leading army. He didn't have to deal with being moved away more from Elincia's side, and becoming Duke of Delbray because of his current role was out of the question. On top of it all; Geoffrey, being of noble descent, was eligible to marry Elincia and I knew for a fact he loved her just as I did.

Geoffrey had everything I ever wanted…but I couldn't push him away for that. It was bad enough between me and my father. Geoffrey had been at my side all my life just as Elincia had. We remained like glue, despite my petty jealousy and I still loved him. He is my brother. He is a good man and I wouldn't want any other man but him to stand as Elincia's husband. Geoffrey knew Elincia like I knew her and no other man would ever know or treat her like he would.

Even now with what I've chosen to do, we're still going to be together like glue…well, I hope we will be. Yes, it means he'll see me much less, but it was going to happen. I was always going to somehow become Duchess of Delbray…only that I never thought I'd chose to do so myself someday. But it had come about. Here I was, leaving on the afternoon for Delbray to be there by the evening. Father was finally going to be pleased. I was going to take my heritage out of my own choice and sew back together our relationship.

That was, at the cost of letting loose one other…

I shut my eyes and sighed as I heard running footsteps come towards me. I had hoped to get out of here before she would try to stop me, or come to say goodbye. But that was just wishful, foolish thinking. Of course I was never going to get away without seeing her first. She would never let me do that.

There was an initial pause as Elincia tried to catch her breath from behind me and collect her thoughts together. I simply continued to tie what I needed to my mount. I only ever rode my horse for when I needed to leave on missions and investigations. But this time I was on a mission that would last my lifetime.

"If you've come to stop me, turn and walk away now." my voice was firm but tense as I said the words. I decided to start our short conversation with making my intention clear. Well, I hope it'll be short…

"…This isn't what I asked for." she replied. She seemed to have finally composed herself too, as she now stood straight. Her eyes remained downcast , however.

" Yes , it is. You said I couldn't be your advisor or bodyguard anymore, didn't you?" yes, what I'm doing to her is horrible. Yes, I hate myself for doing it. But it seems I just can't trust myself not to hurt her anymore, doesn't it?

"I didn't ask for you to leave though!" she shouted at me.

"No, you didn't," I replied unfeelingly as I continued to ready my mount. "This one's my choice. I've respected your choice to remove me as your bodyguard and I understand your reasons. Now I ask of you to respect mine."

"You haven't respected my choice at all! Here you are, running away from it, not accepting it!" Elincia cried at me angrily. Now it was my turn to get angry at her and I felt it too as I turned to her with an ice-cold eye.

"Yes I have. Don't tell me you thought I'd be at your side forever. You know for a fact I'm heir to Delbray. You knew at some point just as I did I'd have to take that role. I've just finally come to accept that role unlike I did before." I replied icily and I could feel the freeze in my heart as I spoke.

"This is not how it should happen, though…not like this…" just as quickly as my heart had frozen over, it began to melt when she spoke those words. I learned against my horse, eyes closed as I took the moment to compose my next words.

"…No, it shouldn't. But it's going to have to be."

"No it doesn-"

"Yes it has to!" I snapped, turning to her again. "What use am I in the castle without a role now? What use am I to you? An emotional support? You're being just as selfish as I've been now, Elincia!"

Why did it have to come to this…this can't really be the end of everything between us is it? It shouldn't be. Yes, I'm leaving, but that shouldn't mean the end of everything we ever had…and still have. As I thought of this, I let go of my horse and turned to her again. Now I could see Elincia's own self-hate and guilt turned on her, just as I had been the other night…

With a heavy heart of sadness, I walked myself over to her and place my hand on her cheek, where I could feel a tear slide down my fingers. Elincia refused to look up at me. That didn't have to matter, she didn't need to look at me for this.

"You think of having turned my heart away from you right now, I know…that's not so." I said to her, thumbing away a tear.

"You could never turn my heart away from you. Ever."

Elincia let out her suppressed sob as she heard the words. I took the prompt and wrapped my arms around her, letting her cry into my shoulder as she wrapped her own arms about me as well. She held me just as tight as I did, as I gently ran my fingers through silken emerald hair. Of course it was our moments like these where we never wanted to let each other go. But knowing I had to, I could at least make it last as long as I could.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry what I said last night…I'm so sorry it even all happened, I…I didn't…" Elincia couldn't finish the sentence.

"I'm sorry too…" I responded, tightening my hold on her.

This was how last night was meant to end…but that couldn't be looked on anymore. The damage was done. I was leaving. But in saying that…I'm not leaving her. It was a silence of finally letting go what both of us really just wanted from all of this. The only sounds in the air was the cool afternoon breeze and the occasional snorts of my mount.

"…You know I love you, right?" Elincia broke the silence. "I love Geoffrey just the same, but you know that it's you even more, right…?"

"I know," I said in a whisper. "I'm your other half. I know that…"

"Then stay…" she pleaded helplessly, pulling to look at me but her grip becoming tighter, "Please don't go…don't leave me here with all this…don't…"

"We both know I can't do that…" I said softly to both of our pain, "It'll do you more harm than good. You said so yourself…"

"But despite that…" her voice was barely audible as she trailed off, her eyes lowering. I took one of her hands at this moment and brought it towards my chest, the other hand now moving to rest on her cheek.

"You know you can be strong without me there all the time. You said you would be when you were about to really lose me. I'm not even lost to you at all nor am I not here. You know you can always come to Delbray if it gets too much for you…" I said as I caressed her cheek gently.

"But what about you, Lucia…can you be strong without me…?"

That made me think for a moment. It was something I hadn't really thought of. My whole life up until this point had been revolved around her. Near all my strength, or should I say all, came from her. My suffering in the Mad King's War, under Ludveck, all of the eyes of Crimea had been for her. There had been a meaning to all I did and it had never changed…and even now, though ironic, my reason for leaving was ultimately, for her…

"…I can't say it will be easy for either of us at first, because it won't be…but we'll get there. We'll be strong on our own…and then when we are together, we'll be even stronger throughout, won't we?"

Elincia nodded, letting out a short whimper. I moved to softly kiss her on the forehead which only let her choke out another sob.

"I know Geoffrey will never let anything happen to you. In all honesty, that really is his role for all days. I know we both wish it was the same for me…and I guess in a way I'm letting go after all, aren't I?" a soft smile crossed my lips as I ran some fingers down stands of her hair.

It seemed to be the moment after I had said that, for we were both looking at each other in that way. At the same time, we both moved in and our lips touched. Elincia's was trembling against mine and I could feel her weaken physically. I had to end up supporting her as I felt her become weak in the knees, bringing a hand behind her head and an arm around her waist so she wouldn't fall. But that turned out inevitable as we both went down as she collapsed on them, me only going down on one knee.

Her lips tasted salty from her tears but it was a beautiful taste to me. It was a long kiss, one that was full of longing and a wish that we didn't need to part, emphasised when Elincia gripped my collar and brought me closer to her. But it did come to an eventual end, with both of us slowly coming apart, but remaining with foreheads touching and noses nuzzling each other. I once more brought a hand to her cheek to thumb away her tears.

"You know you're always welcome…that you can come when you want or have to." I said, opening my eyes.

"And you're always welcome here too…" Elincia replied, to which I nodded with a soft smile.

Eventually, we got ourselves off the ground and turned to my mount. One hand still held onto mine as I looked to see if I had everything I needed attached to her. Realising I had, I walked to her but felt something slip into my hand. I turned to Elincia with a look of confusion initially, but when I saw what it was, I closed my eyes and smiled, nodding in understanding.

It was the talisman she gave me last year when I left for Felirae to expose Ludveck. I'd given it back to her to keep for when we went out to stop the Laguz & Begnion Army from fighting on Crimean soil and she had kept it since. It was then that she let go of my hand and I hopped onto my mount and began to take off.

"Don't forget to send me love letters! They better be good!" I yelled out to her and I could hear her rueful laugh from behind.

"Better than you can imagine!"

I smiled to myself with a short chuckle as I had my horse go into a gallop. Now that I think about it, I guess really it just came down to timing for all of this. I wonder if my father in fact knew that all along for me. You know what they say after all.

A father knows best…and in this, so did we.

* * *

**Okay, now I'm more confident about putting this up. I'm glad I managed to find an editor for me! Thanks to Casey for looking over this and helping me drastically improve it! Anyway this came about after a Tumblr post someone made about knight/princess pairings. I asked a question about what real conflict L&E would come to regarding their relationship. I wanted to write another fan fic for them for so long, but did not want to do the same boring old I normally do. I wanted to make a real conflict between them. As soon as I got the reply to the question, I was thinking up this story 1AM at night and when I woke up, I got the burst of inspiration I wanted. **

**Now knowing how unfortunately homophobic the Fire Emblem fandom still tends to be, I'm going to say it now. If you're going to judge/criticise my fan fic based on the sheer fact you don't like this pairing or don't believe fuel for a romantic relationship exists, leave. Turn around and walk away. I don't want to hear it or deal with you. It's just as much a waste of your time as it is mine. Go into magical happy world with your beloved OTP instead of wasting your time having a go at me. I can't believe I still have to defend myself in this fandom that has lasted longer than a decade. I yearn for the day that I don't have to put messages like these on fan fics of these two. It's not even reviews, its just plain bullying, really.**

**In saying that though, you don't have to like or ship L&E for me to accept your criticism though. I respect and am grateful for those who appreciate my writing just as much as other fellow die-hard fans of this ship. I've had plenty a nice review and appreciation for my writing back in the past from non-shippers. So don't be shy if that's your intention. **

**Anyway, enough of this blurb. I hope you enjoyed my fan fic and I am open to reviews. **

**Regards,**  
**Julz**


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